Rage
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Phyllis remembers her past pain. Philly
1. Chapter 1

"What did you expect me to do?" Nick rushed up behind her, barely reaching her in time to grab her arm before she stepped onto the elevator. "Can you just wait a minute, Phyllis? We need to talk about this."

"So now you can talk." The words flew from her mouth with little regard for who heard them or what they might think. The crowded lobby of the courthouse might as well have been their living room. Her pain and rage were far too visceral to contain. "Now you have something to say? But not in there? Not in that room while your father's lawyer ripped me to shreds?"

He let his head drop a bit mindful of the crowds of people that had begin to slow their hurried steps. He could hear the subtle clicks of iPhone cameras and he knew they were being watched. It was commonplace now, an everyday reality. No matter who you were, your public domestic disputes could be the next viral Youtube sensation. Add the Newman name to the mix and you were a gossip rag cover story waiting to happen. "Can we go somewhere else and talk about this? Please?"

She let her eyes scan the room, her rage now intensifying even more. "Oh, because this isn't good for you, right? For your image, for your company, for your name? I've got news for you Nick. You can take your reputation and shove it up your sanctimonious ass!"

The sound of the elevator's chime brought him back to reality as he stood there dumbstruck.

"Mr. Newman, what can you tell us about your thoughts regarding the hearing proceedings today? Do you believe Ms. Summers could have been involved in the conspiracy to frame your father for murder?"

The words echoed in his ears over and over as he stared at the now closed elevator doors in front of him. "No comment," he finally managed before reaching out and pressing the button himself.

She took a seat on the park bench as she tried to catch her breath. The day felt like a nightmare from which we might never wake ...

* * *

 _"_ _And isn't it true, Ms. Summers, that you have your own reasons for wanting Mr. Newman to spend time behind bars?"_

 _"_ _That's not what this case is about." She stared at the man in front of her, another slick, high brow, entitled prick that Victor no doubt felt he owned. "How I feel about Mr. Newman has nothing to do with the murder of JT Helstrom."_

 _"_ _Except that it does because you saw this as a chance to right some wrongs, didn't you?"_

 _"_ _That's not true."_

 _"_ _Really. Then enlighten me, please. Were you not one of the victims named in court proceedings a few years ago in which Victor Newman was found guilty?"_

 _She swallowed hard. "I was, but again, that's not what..."_

 _"_ _Just answer the question, Ms. Summers," the judge warned._

 _"_ _Yes," she said softly._

 _"_ _And can you tell the court, just briefly, what Mr. Newman was convicted of? In laymen's terms, of course?"_

 _Her eyes stared daggers through the man who looked at her with a smug half smile. "He arranged to have my then husband, Jack Abbott kidnapped and he replaced him with a doppelgänger."_

 _"_ _Right and this doppelgänger, his name was ..."_

 _She hated the sound of the name, the utterance of it made her skin crawl. "Marco," she spat, "Marco Anicelli."_

 _"_ _I see and you immediately realized this doppelgänger wasn't your husband, correct? And you alerted the authorities?"_

 _The rage walked greater within her. "You know damn well ..." Her hands clenched the dark wood in front of her, her legs trembled beneath her body. She wanted to stand, to scream, to lash out, to bolt, but she couldn't. Her eyes searched the rows of seats to find Nick. Why was he letting this happen? Why wasn't he stopping him? How could he sit there and allow this man, whoever he was, to do this to her, to make her relive the absolute worst moments of her life? His eyes were downcast, his face staring down at the floor. He didn't even look up at her. "No," she virtually snarled, "I was fooled for months. For months I ate, lived, and slept with a stranger. For months I was violated in the worst ways and it was allowed to continue. In fact, it was encouraged."_

 _"_ _That sounds just horrible." He paused for a moment as he looked down at the page he held in his hand. "But I see that Mr. Newman was convicted to a 10 year prison sentence, so at least you were able to find some closure in that."_

 _"_ _He served a few months. Months. He got out and everything went back to normal for him. He got his family back. He got his company back. He got his reputation back. You know what I got? A divorce, a broken family, and doubt. I doubted my instincts, my sanity, my ability to function. So do I think Victor Newman still deserves to be in jail? If that's the question you're asking me, hell yes I do. I'm just telling you, I didn't do anything to try and put him there."_

 _"_ _I see." He walked back to the table and picked up a file. "I'd like to present this into evidence."_

 _The courtroom filled with murmurs as the sheet was passed to the attorneys and the judge._

 _Phyllis let her eyes roam the paper, her jaw tightening with anger. She looked out at Nick again. His eyes met hers this time, but only for a second - long enough for her to see the guilt. He knew. He knew this was coming and yet he'd said nothing._

 _"_ _I wanted to give you a moment to read over the statement. Have you had a chance to do so?"_

 _"_ _I read it."_

 _"_ _And do you agree with Ms. Newman's statements of the events. She attests that you adamantly claimed her father deserved everything he got and that you were happy he might serve time for the murder regardless of his actually innocence or guilt? Do you remember saying that."_

 _"_ _I was angry. She'd also slapped me. She left that part out. She's lucky all she got thrown back at her were words."_

 _"_ _Are you normally a violent person, Ms. Summers?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Would JT Helstrom disagree?"_

* * *

"Vic!" He let the door slam shut behind him. "Vic, are you here?"

"Shhhh." Victoria turned the corner and stepped into the living room. "Katie's taking a nap," she hissed, "You'll wake her." She looked at him intently for a moment, the deep creases in his forehead betraying his perturbed mood. "What's the matter?"

"Hopefully nothing." He reached to pull his jacket from his shoulders and fling it over the back of the couch. Even in the cold Wisconsin winter, the rush of rage had warmed him to the point of being uncomfortable. "I was at the GCAC and I saw a report on the preliminary hearings."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I was going to try to go, but then Nick said he was going to be there and that he would represent us both, so ..."

"They has Phyllis on the stand today."

Silence fell over the room and nothing else had to be said. He could see it all over her face.

"Jesus, Vic. Why would you do that?"

"I didn't do anything wrong, Billy. I told the truth. I told them exactly what happened, exactly what she said."

"Yeah, but you know how that sounds. And what's more, you know what your father did. It's disgusting. It's unforgivable and he got away with it after spending a few months in jail. It's like he got a slap on the wrist and she got a life sentence. There's no fairness in that."

"Life isn't fair sometimes, Billy. Everyone learns that at some time or another."

"Seriously? That's your excuse? Even after everything she did for you with JT? After what you told me about that night and ..."

"Keep your voice down. The last thing I need is for Katie to overhear something and tell her entire dance class." She sighed. "Look, I appreciate what she did, what everyone did, but all I did was tell the truth. If she's not guilty, she shouldn't have anything to worry about."

"You know she's not guilty! You know she didn't try to frame your father for the murder."

Silence.

"Wait a minute. You actually think she did it, don't you? You think she might be trying to set Victor up to go down for this whole thing, don't you?"

"Yeah, you know what, I do and what's upsetting me more than anything here is the fact that you seem more upset over the fact that I think it than if it's actually true. You don't care if my father is being set up. If Phyllis was doing it, you'd be okay with it, wouldn't you?"

And there it was, their problem, the one that always had, always did, and always would come between them. "Do I think she did it? No, I don't. Do I think she'd be justified if she did? Absolutely. What Victor did to her, to Jack, to our whole family, there's no getting over that. And if that man spent every day of the rest of his miserable life in a 6 by 6 concrete cell, it still wouldn't be justice."

* * *

"I've been looking all over for you." Nick moved to take a seat beside her. "I don't want to leave things like that."

"Too bad, I'm leaving." She was on her feet in seconds and already walking away from him when he stood up and reached for her.

"Wait, Phyllis!"

"Why? Why should I wait? So you can lie to me some more, tell me you believe me, tell me you're in my corner, meanwhile all the while you're planning and plotting with your father and your sister against me and ..."

"That's not how it happened. I never plotted against you. Did I know about Vic's statement? Yes, okay? I knew, but she swore it was the truth and nothing more. Was she lying?"

"It doesn't even matter, Nick. Your family's version of honesty is so screwed up that I can't even talk to you about this. A truth that comes at the worst possible time is like an anvil and that ... what your sister just did - strategically placing the statement in the cross examination that way, she just made me look vengeful and angry and spiteful and ..."

"Aren't you?" He saw the reaction and immediately regretted the response. "Not that you aren't justified in feeling that way, but don't you feel that way towards my father?"

"I can't even talk to you." She turned away Ashe reached for her again. "Nick just let me go."

"I can't. I can't leave things like this. You and I don't have to let this come between us."

"You already have. When you chose to sit in that room and let that man vilify and berate me and you did nothing. You let your loyalty for your father come between us."

"I don't know what the hell you expected me to do, Phyllis. We were in the middle of a hearing. No one would have stood up and demanded the lawyer back off."

"That's where you're wrong."

She knew the voice instantly, the sound of the low, comforting swell something she'd come to count on during the most trying times in her life. The sound brought with it a flood of memories and feelings and she felt her eyes burn with fresh tears as she turned to see him.

"If I'd been there," Billy continued, "there's no way in hell I would have sat back and let that happen."


	2. Chapter 2

Nick rolled his eyes. "Because you're such a prize, right Billy? That's why things worked out so well between the two of you."

"I don't claim to be perfect." His words were directed at him even as his eyes stared directly into hers. "We had our problems. I made mistakes, but I never … _never_ sat back and let her get treated like that."

"You don't even know what you're talking about." Nick pushed in front of her now, his body pushing closer to Billy's, his anger and frustration finally finding an acceptable target. "You weren't even in that courtroom. You want to show up here, like some kind of white knight and pretend that you would have or could have done better, but we were in the middle of a hearing. It isn't like I chose to sit back and listen to that. I don't know what you expect to do? Was it gonna help anything if I ended up being held in contempt of court? Was that going to help Phyllis?"

"That fact that you're even considering covering your own ass while she's up there getting railroaded by one of your father's minions is …" He paused for a moment to glance back at her. She was beaten, hurt, beyond what he'd seen in years. This was the Phyllis he'd seen in the thick of it all, the one who'd had to claw her way back to her sanity, the one who'd made it, who'd finally found happiness again and now – to see her falling back down that steep cliff and to know that no one was stepping up to lend her a hand, it made him seethe inside. He swallowed hard as he turned his attention back to Nick. "And even now, you're not feeling guilty. You're not apologizing. You're explaining yourself. You're justifying your own useless actions. You're just like your father. If you're not a Newman, you're just not worth the sacrifice to …"

Nick jumped forward, his hands grabbing the shirt collar that fell open around Billy's neck. "You shut the hell up," he spat. "I am not my father! I've worked my whole life to be my own man and I am not my father!"

"Stop it! Stop it!" She forced her body in between them, only taking a step back when she felt Billy's shoulders fall and saw him increase the distance between them. "I can't do this with the two of you right now. I can't!"

She was falling apart again right in front of his eyes and he couldn't add to her distress even if he was fighting for her. "Sorry," he whispered.

Nick nodded. "Yeah, sorry. Why don't we head home? We'll talk about this, sort this out."

"I can't. I can't go home with you."

"Phyllis …" He reached for her again,sighing in frustration as she stepped further away. "Look, I get that you're upset. I get that you expected me to do something, but I've tried to explain to you that there really wasn't anything that would have been appropriate in that situation for me to …"

She scoffed and averted her eyes. "Appropriate? It wasn't appropriate?"

"It's just a preliminary hearing." He tried to soften his words, mindful of the precariousness of her emotions. Billy's presence seemed to loom over them, his energy warning him, testing him, silently challenging him to say something wrong. "You're not on trial here. They're just trying to see if there's enough evidence to …"

"It sure as hell felt like I was on trial," she retorted. "And it still feels that way, but that's nothing new really. I've felt that way with you and your family for weeks now. You honestly don't get it, do you? You honestly believe that I should be able to just compartmentalize everything, that what happened to me is something I should be able to put into a little corner of my mind and not think about it anymore."

"I never said that, Phyllis. I just …" He could feel his eyes boring into his head. "Can we please just go back to the house and talk about this … so we can talk alone?"

"You mean so you have a better chance of getting your way, right?" Billy stepped closer to them again. "Because that's the Newman philosophy isn't it? You band together and you isolate your targets and then you browbeat them into some sick sort of submission until they start to chant your mantra or until you completely destroy them, whatever comes first."

"Phyllis knows that's not what I'm trying to do. I want to support her. I want to be there for her. I've never wanted to brainwash her or whatever the hell it is that you've conjured up in your mind."

"And yet you refuse to even acknowledge that she wouldn't need your support if your father hadn't sat back while she was systematically raped for months!"

He heard the sound of his own voice echo through the park at the same instant he watched her recoil. He'd let Nick get to him. The way the Newmans operated made him sick and his anger and disgust for that family and their values had pushed him past logic, past thought, past understanding and compassion. He'd been so intent on making his point, on pounding the information through Nick's thick skull that he'd completely ignored Phyllis' feelings and now he'd played a part in the continued abuse she'd endured today. The sight of her body recoiling was worse than a slap in the face – even the ones she'd given him over the years.

"Phyllis," he said quickly, moving from behind Nick and trying desperately to reach her in time to apologize. "I shouldn't have … I'm sorry."

She was through the cast iron gates before he could stop her. His heart sank as he watched the rise and fall of her shoulders as she rushed away. She was sobbing, in large part because of him.

"Are you happy now?" Nick spat. "Now I have to go find her and try to pick up the pieces. She doesn't need this right now."

He turned around slowly, his eyes casting daggers towards the Newman in front of him. "That's the first thing you've said today that I actually agree with. She doesn't need this right now. She doesn't need you. You can't pick up the pieces. You don't even understand the pieces. Just leave her the hell alone. I'll handle this."


	3. Chapter 3

"Billy." His name fell from her lips with a hint of frustration as she pulled open the door just wide enough to step through. "You know, you can't just keep doing this."

"Doing what?" He wasn't in the mood for the word games today. He had neither the time, energy, nor patience to try and discern exactly what is was Victoria wanted from him. Each day seemed to dawn with a new request, a new version of the man she needed. It was exhausting and today it was altogether more than he could handle.

"You know what, Billy," she snipped. "You don't just get to come into my home and act like an ass, throw all these accusations around, and then blow out of here. Then, you take off, blow off a big head of steam." She stopped then to study his body language, taking stock of his mannerisms and expressions. "Which at least this time doesn't seem to have involved any drinking or disorderly conduct, but still ..."

She shook her head as she stepped to the side and allowed him to enter the too . "You go and have your little tantrum and then you show back up with your apologies and your explanations and Im supposed to believe that the very same thing won't happen again the next time you don't get your way. I swear, Billy, sometimes Johnny is more capable of a mature outlook than ..."

"I didn't come here to apologize to you." It almost had to be a Newman trait, he realized as he watched the stunned expression spread across her face. It was almost ingrained in them, an involuntary impulse that every single action was a direct reaction to them, their feelings, their needs, their desires.

Her lips pressed together in a thin, tight line. "Then, why did you come here?"

"I'm looking for Phyllis. Have you seen her?"

"Phyllis?" She half laughed. "What on earth makes you think Phyllis would be here? You know the truth now, remember? All that girl power crap was just a means to an end. Phyllis never gave a damn about any of us. She would have thrown us all under the bus for a single shot at revenge."

"That's not true. She kept your secret. She helped you cover up what happened here that night. If she'd wanted you or Nikki or a Sharon to go down for this, she had the perfect opportunity, but she did nothing except cover for you all ... for months."

"She only did that because she had to cover for us to cover for herself. It's all about Phyllis. Always has been, always will be - unless it can be about getting back at my father and then ..."

"Jesus, Vic, can you blame her? After what he did?"

"I'm not going to keep going over this with you, Billy. Dad's not perfect, but neither is Phyllis and she could very easily have seen this as the perfect opportunity to get back at him once and for all and if ..."

"So, you haven't seen her then? At all?" He wrapped the scarf tighter around his neck as he began to move back towards the door.

"What? No, I haven't, but Billy, maybe Phyllis is avoiding talking about all this because deep down she knows what she's done and she knows it isn't right. Maybe she's afraid that she'll slip up and ..."

"Tell the kids I'll call them later."

She stood on the other side of the now closed door, her remaining words still heavy on her lips.

* * *

He felt the tires slide a bit as he pulled into the long driveway. The temperature had dropped dramatically in the last few hours and the roads were quickly becoming more and more dangerous. It was bad enough that he'd let himself be pushed to the point of snapping, to the point of saying something so thoughtless that it had sent her running away from him instead of into the comfort of his arms where she belonged. Now, he not only worried that she was out there upset and alone, he worried she wasn't safe, the conditions continually becoming more treacherous and her stubborn nature making it impossible for her to relent and simply come home.

The concrete path was already slick with icy patches and he slowed his quickened steps as he approached the door. He wouldn't do Phyllis any good in the hospital. Jack's voice could be heard through the glass and he saw the surprised look on his brother's face as he pulled the door open. "Billy." He similes and pulled the door open wider, extending his hand and welcoming him inside. "I wasn't expecting you tonight. Get in here. It's freezing out there."

Billy nodded, shooting a slightly apologetic smile towards Kerry who cradled the glass of red wine in her hand as she sat curled up in front of the fireplace. "Sorry to interrupt," he said softly. He'd moved out, and back to the Chancellor estate a little over a month ago after walking in on Jack and Kerry's sweet nothing filled breakfast sessions one too many times. They deserved their privacy and their happiness. Phyllis had gone through hell at Victor's hands, but so had Jack and he didn't begrudge him this chance at loving again.

"Nonsense," Jack grinned. "Kerry and I were just having a nice quiet evening. Weren't we, honey?"

Kerry smiled as she slowly climbed to her feet. "We were. Can I get you a glass?" She held up the bottle towards Billy as she refilled her own glass.

"No thank you. I'm good. I'll be out of your way in just a minute. I was actually thinking maybe ... we'll I was wondering ... " He leaned in a bit closer to Jack the prospect of asking about his ex wife in front of his new girlfriend seemed fraught with complications and social faux pas. "I was wondering if you'd seen or heard from Phyllis?"

"She called me a little while ago," Kerry piped up.

"She's got ears like a bat," Jack whispered, "it's frightening."

Kerry laughed. "It's fine. Anyway, she called to tell me she needed to reschedule our meeting tomorrow, that she probably wouldn't be in the office at all, said something came up."

Jack eyed Billy for a moment. "By that look on your face, I'm afraid to even ask ... Are you the something?"

Billy dropped his head.

"What happened, Billy?"

Kerry craned her head towards the kitchen and made herself scarce.

"Alright," Jack said as he heard the sound of the laptop chime. "It's just you and me now. What happened?"

"It's not all me," Billy admitted as he walked over towards the sofa and took a seat, "but I definitely didn't help matters, even though I was trying to, Jack - I swear I was just trying to be supportive."

"You gonna Tell me what you did or do we have to play 20 questions?"

"You know the hearing was today." He saw the look of understanding on Jack's face.

"Oh, and Im sure the Newman's did what Newman's do." He leaned back as he took a sip from his glass. The thought of the courtroom made him sick inside, the memories of their own proceedings still far too fresh. "Were you there?"

"No. See that's just it. I wasn't because I knew Nick would be and I honestly thought that he'd be ..."

"He's a Newman first," Jack reminded him. "They all are. It's in the oath."

"Yeah, well, he certainly lived down to the name today. He let that lawyer chew her up and spit her out. He brought up the past history with Victor. He made her talk about how Victor never really served his sentence and then, to add insult to injury, Victoria provided a statement detailing this argument she and Phyllis had where Phyllis basically said she wouldn't care if Victor rots in jail for JT's murder - guilty or not."

"God." 

"And that's the normal reaction, right?" Billy threw his hands up in the air. "That's how a normal human being reacts to hearing that story, but not Nick. Nick tries to tell her that there wasn't anything he could have done to help her because if he'd tried, the judge would have held him in contempt."

Jack smirked. "Self preservation of self and other Newman's - number two in the Newman oath." He let out a heavy sigh. "So, Nick let her get put through the wringer in the courtroom. I'm still not quite understanding how any of this is your fault."

"I ran into them in the park and he was just being so damn self righteous. It was like he expected her to just get over everything and let it go and head home to play video games and when she couldn't ... Anyway, I let him get to me and I lost it. I started screaming at him about what Victor did, what he allowed to happen and ... I was just trying to get it through his thick skull but ... I wasn't thinking about how it would make her feel to hear all that again and ..."

"She took off?"

"Yeah." He wrung his hands worriedly. "I've looked everywhere I can think of. She's not at Nick's. She's not at the coffeehouse. I checked with Victoria. I thought she might got there to ask her why she gave that statement, but she hasn't seen her. I called Michael and Lauren, checked with Summer and nothing. I even checked at the club to see if she'd booked a room. It cost me a pretty penny, but I finally found a maid willing to let me check the registry and she hasn't. I'm worried about her, Jack. She doesn't need to be alone right now and she certainly doesn't need to out there like it is tonight. If anything were to happen to her ..."

"Come on." He reached and and clapped his hand onto his younger brother's shoulder. "Wherever she is, I'm sure she's okay. You know how Phyllis gets when she's trying to sort through something. She gets it in her head that she needs time alone to think and she's hellbent that she's gonna get that time. Right now maybe the best thing you can do is give her the space. Respect her need to ..." His words stopped abruptly as he watched Billy jump to his feet and practically race to the door. "Billy?! What on earth are you doing?"

Jack sighed as he closed the door, the lights of the car fading quickly as they backed down the driveway.

Billy forced his foot to ease off the gas. The roads weren't getting any better and no doubt this drive would be an even more treacherous feat, but he now knew exactly where she was and nothing would keep him away.


	4. Chapter 4

He leaned closer to the windshield, the foggy stem that reappeared each time he cleared it caused him to curse under his breath. The drive had seemed almost endless tonight as he'd had to slow, almost to crawl in an effort to ensure he'd arrive in one piece.

As the small grouping of trees that always signaled the turn off finally came into view, a momentary surge of panic went through him. What if she wasn't here? He'd driven all the way up here, totally on instinct as if somehow he had this cosmic connection to her - as if he knew her so well that he'd be able to predict what she'd do, what she'd need, and where'd she'd go in her search for reverie. Maybe that used to be true, but things were very different now. He was no longer the person she turned to. It wasn't his arms that she lay in at night.

The sad realization settled over him, much like the now thick, blowing snow that blanketed the walk leading up to the cabin. It wasn't until he'd almost reached the front door that he saw it - the light filtering out through the curtains of the living room window and then, as he looked past the house towards the back entrance, he saw her car. Maybe he did still know her. Maybe there was still that connection ... at least there was for him.

Billy reached into his pocket, his cold fingertips clumsy as he tried to find the correct key. "Damn," he hissed as they slipped from his hand and fell to the snow and sleet covered ground.

Phyllis stilled inside the cabin. She'd been sitting on the sofa, her body wrapped in every blanket she could find for nearly three hours now. The heat has been running non stop and if it was doing anything to warm the room, she hadn't felt it yet. Part of her had considered going out to look at the unit, though she knew she'd have no idea what she was looking at. The other part of her remembered Jack's warnings about bears that lived in the nearby wooded area. She'd much rather be cold inside than a frozen bedtime snack for forest dwellers and she'd certainly rather be here than on the road right now.

Still the sound outside unnerved her and she pulled the blankets tight around her shoulder as she shuffled to the door. The glass panes on the door were almost entirely iced over and though it was clearly dark out, she'd swear there was movement and ...

The door opened suddenly and she found herself almost hurtling backwards. His hand reached out quickly to catch her.

"Billy." It took her a moment to regain her footing and another moment still to process the fact that he was here, standing in front of her.

"Are you okay?" He turned to close the door behind him, the biting wind already whipping in the room.

"I'm ..." she shook her head. "What are you doing here? How did you even know I was up here?"

"I didn't," he admitted. "Not for sure anyway. I knew you were upset and I knew you didn't go home. I checked everywhere I could think of in town and then ?I started trying to think of somewhere you'd go if you wanted time alone." He shrugged slightly. "That's when I thought of here."

He waited a moment as the silence settled over the room. "So It looks like I guessed right." He smiled nervously as he looked at her. He needed her to break, to scream, to cry, to do something. Phyllis wasn't silent ... ever.

"Congratulations." The word sliced through him as she turned her back towards him and moved to walk away.

"Hey." He reached for her, his hand wrapping around her shoulder and turning her back to face him. "Look, I know you didn't expect me to show up here, but ..."

"No, Billy. I didn't want you here. I didn't want anyone here. You said it yourself. I came here because I wanted to be alone. You knew that and yet you still took it upon yourself to come up here."

"I just want to help, Phyllis. I don't think you really want to be by yourself right now. I just think you ..."

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I want?!" She screamed the words at him, the months of anger and frustration finally reaching the surface.

"I'm someone that knows you, Phyllis and yeah, I do think I know what you want even if you're not being honest with yourself about that right now. You're just running because that's your instinct. It's what you always try to do. You try to run and if that doesn't work you try to avoid and if that doesn't work you try to deny and if that doesn't work you try to forget. The problem with all of your default solutions is none of them work. You can't run away. You can't avoid. You can't deny. You can't forget."

"I was." She couldn't admit that he was right. Not now. Not when she here, alone, with him. She needed time to think, needed time to think. "I had put this all behind me and ..."

"It was never behind you," he said softly. "It was just pushed aside for a while. I know what that's like. When you go through something like you did, it's never gonna go away. It's always gonna come back. But you don't have to deal with it alone. That's what I'm trying to tell you."

"You might want to tell some other people that." Her mind flashed back to the courtroom, to the way Nick had avoided her eyes, to the way he'd talked to her, the almost dismissive sound of his voice.

"Forget about Nick." The look of surprise in her eyes would have normally been cause for a cease fire, but not tonight. Tonight he was putting all his cards on the table.

"I don't want to talk about Nick with you. It's none of your business. Our relationship is none of ..."

"I don't want to talk about Nick either. I just want to talk about you, what you need, what you want. That's the only thing that's important to me. That's the only thing I care about."

"That's not why I came up here, Billy. I wasn't looking for a therapy session."

"Guess its a good thing I showed up then, huh cause it seems like you could use one and I'm volunteering my services tonight - free of charge."

"Billy." She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

"What?" He flashed another coy smile. "You're not honestly gonna kick me out of my own family cabin, are you? Especially when the roads are turning into giant sheets of ice?" He could see her softening a bit. "I can even go light the pilot light so the furnace starts working again." He laughed a little at the look that shot across her face. "And I'll get a fire going so we won't freeze while we wait for the house to heat up."

A slight sigh escaped her lips. "Alright," she conceded, "I guess, since you're already here, there's no point in leaving and the fire ..." The bemused, satisfied expression on his face was more than she could take and she felt her own lips curving into a smile of their own. "It sounds nice, " she admitted.

"Great." He gestured to the sofa. "Just go sit down and bundle up. I'll take care of everything else. Alright? And then, we'll figure the rest of this out."

She nodded as she moved over to the sofa and watched him head towards the door. He made it all sound so simple and, even though she knew it wouldn't be, somehow having him here with her did make it seem possible.


End file.
